Reflections from our final Sunday with Brother Malcolm
Saturday night I had a dream: Enjoying a lively conversation with Malcolm CasSelle at his home in Baja, I paused to go for a bathroom break. As I walked up the stairs he said, “by the way, I named one of my companies X Enterprises.” I smiled, “Like Malcolm X? That’s amazing!”
The next day, in ‘waking life,’ on November 15, 2020, a group of friends got together at Malcolm’s invitation to go sailing. An hour into the sail, I told Malcolm about my dream. He laughed out loud and said, “I really do have a company named X Enterprises.” Blown away, I wondered, could it be that we’d actually had a conversation in dreamtime? This opened up a series of conversations throughout the day where Malcolm shared special memories and stories about himself, his origins, his lineage and his legacy.
He told me that his mother Dezzette had been reading the biography of Malcolm X while pregnant and that Malcolm X was indeed his name saint. He mused that it was a good thing she’d finished her romance novels before reading the serious biography because otherwise he might have been named Zane Rex!
Malcolm shared that his great great grandfather had built a very successful business in Philadelphia (an almost impossible feat for a black man of his generation,) by being the community’s trusted funeral service provider. There is actually a building in Philly with his family’s name on it: CasSelle. He described an old photo of his gg grandpa proudly leaning against the building in a stylish hat, under the name he had built for himself and his family. A name that Malcolm seemed proud to bear several generations later.
Malcolm told me about visiting the African heritage museum in Washington D.C. and how when he rounded a corner to unexpectedly see his great grandmother’s niece in a black and white photo standing next to Martin Luther King, Jr., that he burst into tears. Tears of joy to see his family represented in the most noble fight our nation has faced. Tears of remembrance, since he hadn’t seen this inspiring family figure since she passed away when he was 9 or 10. He felt overcome with emotion knowing that he came from a lineage of humans who stood up and contributed to the lives of his people being better. A mission Malcolm personally contributed to his entire life.
We found out that both of our birthdays fell near the spring equinox, a time where winter gives way to the new bloom. His mother Dezzette and my father were both born in 1945. We talked about how when our parents were coming of age the movement for liberation — both for human rights and human consciousness — were at an all time peak. Activists of our parents’ generation were arguably risking even more than the youth of today because the stakes were higher. We expressed gratitude for the courage of previous generations and contemplated our role in bettering the world moving forward. A conversation we expected to have over decades to come. A conversation I knew was much more than a conversation for Malcolm, but a lifelong commitment.
His eyes sparkled when he told me about his mom Dezzette. Already certain of her uniqueness, when he’d set up her email a few years back he’d found no other Dezettes online. He wanted to show me a video he’d found of her from the 1970’s rocking “an amazing afro” and confidently sharing her vivacious energy. “I realized when I saw this video that my mom was hot!” Again, joy and pride glimmered across his face.
We talked about the importance of family, both the family you come with and the family you choose. It appeared to me that Malcolm had friends and chosen family of all ages. When he met our son Leon, within a matter of minutes our 9-year-old felt safe and seen by Malcolm. They grilled a piece of salmon and told each other jokes. Leon referred to Malcolm as his friend — usually a term reserved only for other kids.
I imagine everyone who loved and felt loved by Malcolm had a similar experience of feeling seen and valued by him. He placed high value in his relationships telling me about both a men’s group focused on spiritual development and a business mastermind group he’d assembled and been a part of for years. He’d received incredible mentorship in his life, saving him miles of heartache and mistakes. He devoted himself to paying it forward, advising countless founders and entrepreneurs, fulfilling his role as a mentor both seriously and passionately.
Malcolm spanned a massive territory of experience from east to west, traditional to fringe, accredited to experimental. Confident in himself, he had an appetite for ‘risks’ and related to them as play. Open to learning, he helped us be more open and curious. He bridged seen and unseen realms. Both linear business processes and infinite states of consciousness. He told me about how during one of his first breath-work sessions he’d had a spontaneous mystical experience with the great avatar Paramahansa Yogananda. Mind instantly flooded with light, Malcolm shouted out Yogananda’s name, having never heard of the famous monk prior to this experience. When he came back to consciousness, his breath-work teacher said Malcolm’s face had transformed into looking like Yogananda’s face for a few moments. Malcolm shared this story with me casually and with laughter in his eyes. But between his name saint Malcolm X, Yogananda and the numerous healers he held in high esteem, Malcolm’s general way of “living in the world but not of it” became apparent.
Malcolm was a healer. He continues to be a healer. How can Malcolm be a healer for you? That’s for each of us to figure out, but knowing that he had a deep passion for transformation and helping people realize the importance of being responsible for their own health and energy, what might you discover about how you can care even better for yourself, all whilst receiving more joy and peace in your daily life?
First meeting three years ago in LA through our dear mutual friend Lekha, I didn’t know Malcolm long enough to know the trials and tribulations he faced along his human journey. But like any great tree that stands strong after facing countless storms, his roots clearly stretched deep, and his ability to tap into the light and share it with us was transcendent.
Born March 22, 1970, Malcolm turned 50 this year. As we sailed towards the most gorgeous tangerine sunset with dappled clouds against lavender skies trailing behind us, he told our group how on every previous birthday he’d created a vision board for the year ahead. But this year he’d done something different. He went through all his previous vision boards and realized that he had already accomplished everything. He’d checked everything off his list and then some. He said that for the first time in his life he felt completely open and surrendered to the mystery ahead.
Brother Malcolm — you embodied such joy, peace, love and openness on that final Sunday we all shared together. Thank you for blessing us, more than we even know. Spending some of your final days with you amongst friends and seeing the generosity and fulfillment you lived with will remain an inspiration and reminder to focus on what really matters.
The day after he transitioned, I heard Malcolm say “Love Lives Supreme.” So while his body may be returning to the earth, held by a natural cycle of death and rebirth, an energy far larger than anything we could ever comprehend lives on. An energy called Love. Supreme in every moment. And Malcolm has given us a profound opportunity to anchor into this energy and welcome it into our lives on a more regular basis.
While his body gets prepared for final resting, please pray with Malcolm’s spirit. A spirit far bigger than anything that could ever be contained. A spirit flying free. A spirit that can still be contacted and conversed with in dreams, through meditation and in memories.
Brother Malcolm — I am heartbroken knowing how many people, especially your mother Dezzette, are having a great light in their lives ripped away. I regret the future memories we won’t build together. Tears fall, knowing our communities of children won’t grow up with you as their beaming, brilliant uncle. You told us how happy you were to be part of positive communities of love. Thank you for teaching us about this very thing you appreciated. Thank you for strengthening every community you entered. Thank you for being a positive force of love in our lives. May we continue to carry the torch forward in your honor, with even a fraction of the humor and grace you radiated.
Let us feel our grief. And may we simultaneously connect with gratitude for getting to know and love Malcolm. As Daisetz Suzuki once said to Huston Smith, “Infinite gratitude for all things past. Infinite service to all things present. Infinite responsibility for all things future.”
Malcolm CasSelle had a strength and quality of character we wish to bestow on our children. He also had dreams of fatherhood. My prayer is that we can bless our own children with a lesson we learned from Malcolm, and in this way, know that his essence is multiplying in the future generations he committed to serving. Malcolm’s legacy lives on with strength and power. In many ways, I believe his legacy will continue to be revealed more & more as the people who were graced by his kindness and belief continue to find each other and build and create together, with the wind of Malcolm’s spirit in our sails.
in honor of Malcolm CasSelle. March 22, 1970–November 17, 2020
